It has been months since I’ve posted anything, let alone been on tumblr. So much has happened since then thought. Senior year has started. Friendships have thrived, others lost. Decided to give tennis a shot. I turned out decent. School has me under a lot of stress though I think it’s mostly my self caused senioritis. Only a few more moths now…got accepted to Williams college so i know where I am headed. Started a relationship with my best friend. We kind of grew into it. It feels perfect. Life is turning around for me…for the better.
You’re sitting in class, doing your work, and getting the answers correct like
And then you hear someone yell out the wrong answer, and you’re like
You can either stand there and go along with life and always wonder what if…Or…You can give an effort to do something special, leave a mark. Yeah its the ideal view in the world, everyone wants to leave a mark. But nothing ever gets better on its own, so stop pretending to be a disapointment. Everyone has their ups and downs but it is up to that individual to decide in which direction to take them. Do what you think you want to do, but make sure that by the time that last streak of light hits your eyes you are proud of what you have done during your lifetime…
Have I changed? I feel like I have. but then….then there are moments when i’m tired and stressed out that I feel like the same old person, the lonely,depressed one. Idk anymore, maybe i dont care anymore really. Im just tired…of everything. Maybe May is right in believing that the US will end soon. hmm. Ill stay, and face whatever comes. If I die, I die. Things keep on going without me. Maybe itll be a better place. Im glad I met some people though, at least I learned a few things about human nature before I leave.
I took a 2 hour nap. An escape. A sanctuary. For those 2 hours I was not just some person wandering earth, but an individual free from pressure and sadness. For those two hours i felt like i was living. I liked it…
I might not care anymore. I don’t really know myself. I’m tired. Tired of doing the same things everyday. Tired of life. Each day i move on slowly through life. Starting to feel more like a drag than something worth looking forward to. I feel like I’ve changed some though. In the preceding weeks I feel different, not the same kid anymore. who knows if I am any different? I have found out that people do care and some even understand. They’re out there, just have to find them. Hmm. I’m just waiting for something special to happen now. Something that maybe, just maybe, will make life worth living for now.